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叁拾壹蝉鸣（第1页）

???荏???南???没???有???实???现???她???的???计???划???，???黎???明???之???前???，???她???悄???悄???起???身???走???了???，???回???了???自???己???的???房???间???。

???她???的???脑???中???一???片???混???乱???，???情???感???更???是???一???团???糟???，???她???幸???福???也???痛???苦???，???终???于???意???识???到???了???一???切???并???不???如???她???所???想???，???童???话???里???隻???要???两???个???人???互???相???说???我???爱???你???就???可???以???到???团???圆???大???结???局???了???，???但???真???实???的???世???界???并???不???是???这???样???运???转???的???。

???大???哥???是???爱???她???的???，???很???爱???她???的???，???可???为???什???么???要???拒???绝???她???，???为???什???么???隻???在???醉???后???的???梦???中???才???肯???承???认???这???份???爱???？???荏???南???原???来???想???得???太???简???单???，???觉???得???让???他???承???认???对???她???的???渴???求???，???隻???要???身???体???厮???磨???，???便???能???终???成???眷???属???。???但???如???今???看???来???，???好???像???并???非???如???此???。

???荏???南???将???自???己???埋???进???被???子???里???，???蜷???成???小???小???一???团???，???被???子???便???是???她???的???抵???抗???和???防???御???。???她???握???成???拳???头???填???进???自???己???心???口???，???权???当???作???安???慰???和???鼓???劲???，???她???不???怕???，???她???会???找???出???原???因???的???，???她???会???心???甘???情???愿???地???让???大???哥???承???认???对???她???的???爱???，???心???甘???情???愿???地???和???她???在???一???起???一???辈???子???，???再???也???不???分???开???。

???她???在???床???上???赖???了???很???久???，???才???慢???慢???起???身???去???洗???漱???，???进???了???浴???室???才???发???现???眼???睛???已???经???全???哭???肿???了???，???眼???皮???上???飞???着???红???，???连???鼻???头???都???是???红???的???，???泼???了???多???少???冰???水???也???没???一???点???用???，???这???副???样???子???能???瞒???得???住???谁???，???荏???南???用???湿???淋???淋???的???手???往???镜???子???上???一???擦???，???留???下???满???目???水???痕???蜿???蜒???，???掩???住???镜???中???狼???狈???的???自???己???，???她???和???大???哥???，???不???过???都???是???自???欺???欺???人???。

???等???她???下???楼???时???，???大???哥???果???然???已???经???没???了???人???影???，???这???个???点???早???过???了???他???上???班???时???间???了???，???但???进???了???餐???厅???发???现???桌???上???摆???了???还???冒???着???热???气???的???豆???浆???，???张???妈???一???边???添???了???热???乎???乎???的???包???子???和???煎???蛋???上???来???，???一???边???和???她???唠???叨???：???“???小???小???姐???下???次???可???不???要???这???么???晚???起???了???，???这???么???晚???吃???早???饭???对???身???体???不???好???的???，???就???算???要???睡???也???要???早???上???吃???了???再???睡???嘛???。???”

???荏???南???喝???了???口???豆???浆???，???袅???袅???热???气???扑???到???眼???睛???上???有???些???酸???痛???，???她???小???声???反???驳???着???：???“???张???妈???你???不???用???刻???意???等???着???帮???我???准???备???早???餐???的???，???我???起???来???自???己???热???下???牛???奶???就???可???以???了???。???”

???张???妈???随???口???说???：???“???不???是???张???妈???想???躲???懒???，???是???大???少???爷???一???直???杵???在???这???，???我???看???大???少???爷???那???报???纸???来???来???回???回???都???翻???三???遍???了???，???问???他???要???不???要???拿???新???报???纸???看???大???少???爷???好???像???还???不???高???兴???了???，???木???着???一???张???脸???走???的???，???还???交???代???我???一???定???要???盯???着???你???吃???早???餐???。???”

???荏???南???心???里???百???感???交???集???，???端???起???杯???子???喝???豆???浆???，???盖???住???脸???上???所???有???掩???不???住???的???表???情???，???潦???草???吃???了???几???口???就???起???身???上???学???去???了???，???张???妈???在???后???面???追???着???让???她???那???个???鸡???蛋???，???也???被???她???拒???绝???了???，???留???下???张???妈???在???身???后???叹???气???，???两???个???人???都???又???开???始???不???好???好???吃???饭???了???，???真???是???愁???人???。

???两???个???人???又???恢???复???了???那???种???在???一???个???屋???檐???下???的???客???气???姿???态???，???荏???南???虽???然???暗???自???决???定???一???定???要???找???出???原???因???让???大???哥???心???甘???情???愿???和???自???己???在???一???起???，???但???实???际???却???陷???入???了???一???种???矛???盾???的???情???绪???中???，???一???日???日???地???找???理???由???自???己???拖???延???，???将???这???表???面???的???平???静???维???持???下???去???。

???她???心???里???知???道???，???江???庆???之???是???个???多???么???坚???决???的???人???，???他???既???然???下???了???决???心???，???就???必???难???动???摇???。

???这???甚???至???比???以???前???懵???懵???懂???懂???的???时???候???更???痛???苦???，???那???个???时???候???荏???南???还???能???在???猜???测???与???试???探???中???去???捕???捉???大???哥???对???她???的???关???心???和???爱???意???，???能???在???这???些???温???暖???的???碎???片???中???自???我???满???足???，???可???现???在???她???明???明???白???白???知???道???了???大???哥???也???是???爱???着???她???的???，???也???就???明???明???白???白???知???道???了???大???哥???是???真???的???已???经???决???定???要???放???弃???她???。

???入???暑???，???天???气???渐???渐???变???热???了???，???偶???尔???也???会???从???窗???外???传???来???蝉???鸣???，???吵???得???人???心???烦???意???乱???。

???荏???南???是???最???怕???热???的???，???床???上???的???棉???布???躺???上???去???都???嫌???热???，???趴???在???客???厅???皮???沙???发???上???让???那???凉???凉???的???皮???面???贴???着???脸???昏???昏???欲???睡???，???她???这???段???时???间???晚???上???总???是???睡???不???好???，???课???业???又???有???些???重???，???精???神???短???了???就???老???是???犯???困???。

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???旁???边???的???电???风???扇???的???铝???叶???片???轻???轻???扇???着???，???吹???起???的???风???一???阵???阵???扑???在???裙???摆???上???，???轻???柔???的???棉???裙???被???风???浮???起???又???落???下???，???拂???过???纤???白???的???小???腿???，???坠???到???臀???下???。

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???扇???叶???还???在???不???停???歇???地???转???着???，???风???拂???过???他???的???脚???踝???，???吹???向???白???裙???子???，???裙???摆???又???飘???了???起???来???，???从???这???角???度???两???条???白???皙???的???腿???将???将???挨???在???一???起???，???直???到???腿???根???时???才???突???然???收???进???去???一???点???，???勒???出???些???痕???迹???，???更???显???得???大???腿???内???侧???有???多???软???腴???，???隻???要???掐???一???下???就???会???化???在???手???心???。

???内???裤???将???小???小???圆???圆???的???臀???包???得???好???好???的???，???裙???摆???依???依???拂???着???，???还???能???看???见???内???裤???边???缘???露???出???来???的???一???点???隆???起???来???的???弧???线???，???如???新???月???、???似???浅???笑???，???诱???人???出???手???。

???果???然???，???鞋???尖???往???她???又???进???了???一???寸???，???停???在???咫???尺???的???地???方???，???然???而???就???这???一???寸???便???遮???住???了???后???方???吹???来???的???风???，???裙???摆???一???下???落???了???下???来???，???掩???住???了???所???有???的???旖???旎???。

???这???大???概???是???一???个???恶???意???的???玩???笑???，???隻???要???江???庆???之???装???作???无???意???地???挪???开???一???步???，???那???裙???摆???又???会???被???吹???得???摇???晃???，???泄???出???少???女???隐???秘???的???美???丽???。

???不???会???有???人???发???现???。

???她???的???身???影???印???在???金???丝???眼???镜???上???，???脆???弱???又???惹???人???怜???爱???，???可???镜???片???后???的???眸???子???隻???这???么???看???着???她???，???用???眼???神???描???绘???她???身???体???的???每???一???丝???曲???线???，???始???终???没???有???挪???动???一???步???。

???良???久???，???他???走???上???前???扣???住???她???单???薄???的???背???和???小???小???的???腿???弯???横???抱???了???起???来???，???力???道???轻???柔???，???就???这???么???抱???着???她???走???上???二???楼???，???将???她???放???到???床???上???好???好???盖???好???。

???江???庆???之???看???着???她???躺???在???宽???大???的???床???上???伶???仃???一???点???的???身???影???，???轻???轻???吻???了???下???她???的???眉???心???，???转???身???离???开???，???从???始???至???终???都???没???有???吵???醒???荏???南???。

???窗???外???，???蝉???鸣???越???发???躁???了???。